nurgee's

Life is just crazy

I came back to office after a two-days conference and reality finally bites. I have tonne of works (uhuh I know...I'm not alone in this right). It's just crazy to think that we work so hard for what purpose in life exactly? mmph...in the midst of self depression, one student actually was excited to meet me just now. Usually if it's student, it means problem. I mean that's what I'm there for...to make their life easier and my life hell! haha...anyway, he was just there actually to let me know that he passed all his subjects. Suddenly I feel like my burden was lifted off for a second...mmph I'm such a sentimental person at heart. I'm glad that I've been making his life easier though in return I don't exactly have a life right now! Life does have its own funny ways of making you realize that it's not that bad after all.

A lot had happened in June. Italy lost to Spain. Spain won the Euro and without you really want it to end, there goes off the championship. Suddenly I feel sepi...hehe..

amidst my misery, I'm trying to get ready for my trip in Aug...suddenly it doesn't seems that far away and I still have a lot to do!

Works have been difficult and the point of my depression. I try not to feel hopeless or pity towards me...but that proves rather hard to do. I just need to go through this period then I'll be happy. or so I hope.

I survived most of the difficult moments at work so far. It wasn't the best accomplishment but I'm glad I'm not dying yet. I'm organizing a graduation in July and it's not really working out as planned. The thing is I sort of being forced to do it...but I realized that there's no point in complaining. I just hope that things will get better...dear god, I really need good luck now.

Apart from that, I can't wait for Aug. I have been dreaming to go to italy like forever but now I realize that the reason I really, really want to go is because I don't want to be in the office! That's not a happy thought but I'm just so stressed...

I received an unexpected email from a faraway friend. That's a good feeling. A lot of my emails now are just junk. The Italian team is moving forward to quarter final, that's a relief. I'm trying to find the good things in life...I think like a friend always say to me 'it's the age...'Finally, growing up is really freaking me out.

withdrawal symptoms

I'm waiting for pizza. Tried to call McD but was ignored. My mom made the conclusion maybe they go on strike because of the fuel price went up...haha that was funny.

I feel like I'm experiencing a withdrawal symptom from blogging. These days I'm just too tired to write or to think!

The AFS Farewell Dinner was sad, particularly because of what had happened but also because of the memory. I guess I just need to cry. sob sob** There's this picture of four of us wearing orange t-shirt during the last retreat..uwaa so sad...

I'm working like crazee but I don't really know what I'm doing. So that's frustrating. Can't wait for weekend! But the exam board is next week..so stressful..

I'm just feeling down most of the time...so to compensate that I eat! haha.. god please give me the strength and good food.

guide to the average living

I think there should be a guide for the average person. If you go through shelf of shelf of motivational books, often enough you will find books on how to be the best or change for the better. But the more and more I'm pondering upon the facts of life (haha like I always think about life), the more I realized that everyday life has always been moderate. Nothing great, nothing small, just average. It's the pressure to become good in everything which often makes life unbearable. Books should be written to tell people that:

1. it's ok if you're not rich by thirty (haha)
2. it's ok not to be the best as long as you are contented at the pace that you're going..
3. it's ok not to be there for everybody, sometimes you're just human
4. it's ok not to be thin and it's ok to eat as long as you stay healthy and happy
5. it's ok not to settle down if you enjoy your singlehoodom ( grr maybe a bit too much)
6. it's ok to wait for the one
7. it's ok if you not going to pursue anything great

forget about the story about the bus that will leave you behind if you contemplate in making the decision whether you should take the bus or wait for the next one. What if you just like the idea of lingering around just a little bit longer and eventually decided to take a walk.

suddenly I feel like singing...

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

Work still sucks. I wish I have other stories to tell but right now sadly, I'm just so occupied with works.

Life is unpredictable. When I was just a fresh grad, I always thought that I will find a job and stick to it at least until I'm bored...haha but that's not the case. There are many reasons for hopping to the next job. And then I realized that 20s is just the period to experience things and 30s is where you are beginning to look at things more objectively. It's just shocking to discover that life is just a 'beginning' at 30...mmph or at least for me.

Many of us would put a deadline to when we should get married (and stay married), when should start working (and hopefully stay with the same company), when we should have kids, when we should become a manager, when we have enough money and didn't take into consideration that sometimes we don't always stay married, or we might not work in the same company that long, or we might not even have kids, or we might face financial difficulties... but the great thing is even we didn't realize all these, we are still able to go on with life. Isn't that amazing?

Perhaps, we are late bloomers and our life is just beginning at 30.

I'm going to get the book suggested by K.Yan :) semangat! lambat lagi pun august.

I changed my wallpaper...tired of celebrities, I have a new wallpaper now of a boy riding a donkey in the middle of poppies field. It's just breathtaking and soothing. Understood now the phrase 'a picture worths a thousand words'...mmph...

work..sucks!

I don't have much anything going on with my life right now. Apart from busying myself with afs activities, I practically eat, sleep, think of work. sad.

I was doing the dvd marathon thingy again. There is so many problems at work to be solved so to help me sleep and not think about work, I exhausted myself by watching dvd after dvd. the subtitles sucks. But luckily I understood a bit of japanese...haha maybe i understood it wrongly but well, who cares. No one will interpret a movie the same way anyway...

I went to survey backpacks today. I have always wanted to buy a nice backpack but a good one is just way too expensive. pheww.. I ended up just looking at few that I can afford, sort of. I have to really save this month if I want to buy a new backpack...uwaaa...

Tomorrow is the last day of work. At least that is a good thing.

naples..

Sunday is ending. I always have this sadness knowing that the weekend is over. Thus making friday and sunday my fav days and saturday...I love saturday. I love working but I love holidays even more...haha if I can ever work from home that is just a dream comes true. But work + home...that's a bit hard for me...haha...I'm just a lazy bum. I went to school because I need to learn something doesn't necessarily I want to become someone important haha...

I spend most of saturday and sunday with family. It was my two nieces birthday...so I just spent some times with them, I don't usually do that anyway.

I found out that I'm going to Naples...yup where Diego Maradonna played. 13hours flight...I don't know whether I can survive that..I just hate long flights. But anyway, since aug is so far away...I have a lot of homework and preparation to do. Insya Allah if everything goes well..I shall breathe the same air as Totti...haha..

for now i just have to survive monday. dem!

tigerbalm and the azzuri.

I have flu today! yeah..not so great but it always amazes me that there's no cure for flu. Subhanallah. God is all powerful, not even a great scientist can beat that. My remedy is tigerbalm and wishful thinking. Flu go away. Go away flu!

I broke the news about Italy to my boss...I think at first he thought I'm quitting my job and he smiled. But later when I told him about the strength through diversity thingy, he said to me that it's really a great thing. ..mmph..and I wonder whether he heard me right when I said I'll be going for a month. Well, it's too late to say anything now. I've made up my mind! grrr... insyallah, with God's willing I'll be visiting the land of azurri...but aug is at least 3 months away and there are a lot of preparation to be done...so mr.totti, wait for me!

Work has been challenging these days. I'm in the brink of killing and strangling someone for the mere pleasure of it. God!